Homophobia
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 by DC in(Please read my previous post to see the concerned comments that this is about)
People fear what they don't understand. I can understand some people in the world not liking gays. But what really puzzles me is how a parent could stop loving their own flesh and blood.
Mr and Mrs MacP___:
You say that your hopes and dreams for your son shattered when you heard he was gay. Did I miss the email or something? Because last time I checked, someone's sexuality doesn't effect you being successful in life. Your son deserves to have his own dreams, and as parents, you're supposed to support and love him as he strives to achieve HIS dreams, not yours.
And your daughter says she wants to die? What a load of shit. Your son has gone through potentially years of feeling different. Did you ever think about what kind of emotional maelstrom he's been through? For all you know, your son may have wanted to commit suicide. You say that your lives are ruined, that there was no happy ending. What ending???? Would you rather that your son had bottled up his own feelings? How could him trusting you enough to tell you that possibly be ruining your lives? Lets say your son didn't "destroy your lives". He goes through life feeling alone, unloved and unwanted. What if he committed suicide? I suppose that would be good for your all-important "family name" would it?
A "good name and heritage" doesn't mean shit in todays world. People succeed through their own resourcefulness and brains.
I will do no such thing, as you suggested earlier. I will not tell my readers that there is never a happy ending. There is no apparent "happy ending" in your story because YOU make it so. Accept your son as who he is, he is no different as he was before. He is your son. He is the same son you have raised and watched grow for the past 15 years.
Like you said, your wife gave him birth. You gave him your name. But this is his life to live. In no shape or form is being gay your son's fault. And it's not a fucking fault to begin with. Whether you accept it or not, your son is gay. For Christ's Sake, man up and do your duty by him. Love and cherish him, nothing has changed, you've managed to do that for him for the past 15 years. He is still the wonderful person you and your family raised him to be.
Its been scientifically proven that your sexuality is determined when you're born. Its no ones fault, so stop laying the blame on your son for apparently "ruining your life". If you believe in God and not science, does the Bible not say that everyone is created in His Image? And that He loves His creations equally? Don't you see? Your son saw you, his parents, as the ones he could turn to, even when no one else could do that for him. He had tremendous guts to do that. Follow in his footsteps and do the same. Have the guts to do your job as parent, which is to love and support your children no matter what.
I am in no way doubting the great job you have done raising him so far :)
I apologize if what I say sounds insulting, its not intended. But I do believe that you just needed a helping hand to get back on the right track. I would appreciate it if you would read everything I said and take it under consideration. Everything I wrote, I wrote because I care =)
Just remember, anyone that ever feels like talking have a Kiwi friend in me :)
I'm only ever an email away.
P.S @Rosemary: Feel free to vent whenever and however as much as you want, thats what This is for, and everyone is welcome to share it with me :) You are not to blame for your son Rosemary. There's nothing to be blamed for as he's still the same son you had yesterday as the one you held and nurtured as a baby. I'm glad your son has you Rosemary, I feel so sad about what happened between your son and his father. Feel free to talk here any time :)
@The Therapist:
Sure, I'm not "qualified" in your sense of the word. But I am qualified in a different way. What you have with your experience with cases, I make up for with my personal experiences. I'm glad we both have the want to help and support others.
But I would prefer it if people would stop trying to analyse others. When you do things like that without asking people, it can so easily come across as you judging them. Thats sort of a touchy subject around here as this community come here to escape stress and to be themselves. Whether you intended it or not, you or your associates seemed to come across as aggressive. Instead, it's better to come across as more friendly, as we all support each other rather than try to cold-bloodily analyse them critically. Again, I'm not saying you intended it to sound that way.
DC, still =D
For gods sake it is 2010 why cant people live and let live we are born gay it's in the genes our parents give us. Some parents are just so fukin selfish it's all me me me we want grandkids you have let me down. Duh have look in the mirror you created him you brought him up do you think you have done good by him ? you probably have but but he needs support in these hard times not critisized from the ones he holds closest Sorry for the rant I hope his Parents read this comment
Eddie