Trying To Find My Path

Today. Today was pretty damn cool. No, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Didn't see friends. Barely talked with anyone. But what made it just plainly uber-pure-awesome was the fact that I woke up happy. Like really damn happy : )

I dunno, sure, I've got tonnes if stress on me right now, but its like... i've accepted that its gona be one damn bitch of the next cppl of years, but im ready for it :) Its never off my mind, I'm always trying to think of different scenarios that I could face. I'm not going to the Leavers Ball next year, I'm not going to ask a girl to go with me, I don't want to suffer through a night of things being awkward. People can call me gay, I don't care :) Its who I am. Sure, i worry about losing my friends and being an outcast but 'What will be, will be'.

I have exams in three weeks, whoo Yay! (not :P) lol but its the holidays after the so its gonna be real cool. My dad got headhunted by a company called Goodman Fielder and its based in Auckland so every day he's gotta drive up there for work. We bought an apartment up there so some weeknights he can just stay up so no more driving back and forth from the Tron (Hamilton) every day. Its so cool, its right off the main street, its frickin  awesome =D

Me and my mum stayed up there for a week and it was pretty sweet just walking around by myself and admiring the 'scenery' =P lol and my mates have got half-hatched plans to go stay up there for a week or sumthing, im really hoping they're up for it.

Had an awesome party a week again, it was just down my road so i didnt need to bother about a sober driver or anything. Got off my face =D but not a stupid amount. The cool thing about it was its like a social lube (lol =P) everyone talks to ppl they normally wouldn't. It was three people's birthdays put together so plenty of teens :) lol the weird thing was one girl kept on hitting on me and eventually just stole my phone and put her number in it. I was like wtf? anyways it was pretty awesome, lots of free hugs going around :)



The last year and a half, I've been either damn depressed or recovering from another phase of it. I found it really hard to get any motivation to go through each day, the only thing that I enjoyed was being with my friends at school and listening to my music non-stop. But, its somehow different now. I'd already partly accepted myself for who I am, but i hadn't accepted and become okay with the fact that theres going to be some tough times ahead. It doesn't matter though, because I'm comfortable with myself and my life. Whatever is in store for me, I'd like to see if faze me now. I feel like I'm finally Alive =D

Homophobics of New Zealand, be-damned-fucking-ware! =P

Sorry bout the lack of posting, been too busy with studying everyday.

Song of Today: 'Ghost' by Kidz in Space